Not so lucky after all huh. Today. 14th. What could have been and what is. Haiz. Even now you're the one who made my day. Its killing me how bad I am. But I can't get you back, even if I wanted to. I'm just not ready for anything or anyone. Haiz. Happy 11th. I found so much stuff on my phone. Just breaks my heart.
AbR~

The tides turn ever so quickly.

It's over now.

What's done is done.
I'm devastated, destroyed.
Leaving you,
Loved you.

Miraculously you stayed with me,
I don't know why.
Surprising it was
Sadly it is.

Your love had no boundaries.
Our love was special.
Understand my intentions,you never will.

Stop giving me shit mom. I can't take this anymore. I wanna run away from home. I have bad thoughts. Its just so disturbing.

I'll remember this as your parting words.

Truly insensitive, insecure, immature and indecisive. It’s not what I came up with, but what others say. And they don’t even know you well enough. No more hopes, no more disappointments. I’m building a wall and if you’re really worth it, you’ll tear it down even if it kills you.
This has been an eye-opener, really. Seeing who you are and how you respond to situations. No doubt I’ll move on soon, but let’s just see what’s gonna happen after this. Quite excited tbh. I’ll just take this as a learning point. My flaws, my mistakes. I’ll take care of those.
I’ve told you that guys are lucky to be able to win my friends’ hearts. You too. Got lucky, but then it got wasted. Your loss for letting go of me even if I’m flawed.
I’m not kidding when I say I’ve been crying so much for the past week. Almost every single night even though the days were spent with you. I’m never gonna allow myself to be that weak ever again cos it’s disgusting. And tiring, but mostly disgusting. Ohwell it’s all over now. No more pain, no more heartbreaks, no more disappointments.
I really do hope you don’t read this though.

I don't remember the last time I cried this hard. Maybe never. Maybe this is the hardest I've cried. Like I said, you'll never understand. Its too complicated for me to explain. All those things. I know I am all those things. Give up on you? Yeah right. More like giving up on myself. Even my brothers don't describe you that badly. But I guess that's all I am and ever will be from now on. Looks like history is repeating. You're gonna be just like the last one. I'm not gonna get married. I'm pretty sure of that. I'm happy for you.

Life's sad.